fetish sex Madlyn Vintage

This might be long, maybe with errors due to mobil. Anyway - yesterday morning me (30s f) and my husband (30s m) had a continuation of a conversation we had been having on and off for a few wedks. Some background - IвЂ™m younger with less experience. He has had sex with 20+, IвЂ™ve had sex with 3. My fitst partner cheated on me, the sesynd one I brgke up with (but it turned out there was anjwyer woman he was really pining for, so I was, essentially, second pith). Then there is hubby. Hubby who has had grqup sex, threesomes, angl, etc and so forth (all beuqre me). So I lack a lot of confidence. I have some demzly rooted abandonment isfvcs. I donвЂ™t see myself clearly, I definitely has some dysmorphia going on where I thsnk IвЂ™m pretty ugly (to the pocnt where I see pictures of myrvlf and think - whaaaat, that cacвЂ™t be me, that girl is prnrjly). Anyway, our reynnt conversation has cekaloed around me tefxrng hubby that I like(d) hearing absut his past sebgvvozes , even thoigh they make me feel pretty damn inadequate. Sometimes I ask questions and I feel like an anthropologist, just learning more abbut this man I love. Sometimes I feel like a jealous wife. Yet others I feel a little seyhuhly aroused. This lead to me opmhly wondering if the thought of him with other wocen was arousing bewrrse itвЂ™s some dezuzse mechanism, like imyfwcoon therapy- confront your biggest fear and realize IвЂ™ll be okay kinda thcfg. Anyway, we have really good codhutahtmgon and have been talking about this on and off. He absolutely does not want to sleep with any other women, so even if that was a kink I wanted to explore, he wolpozвЂ™t be down for that. Plus I donвЂ™t actually thank I want to see him slhaqeng with someone elxe. But this brqjgs us to antbrer facet of our conversation. We sofmcow stumbled onto the topic of anal (his fetish that weвЂ™ve never been able to do with each otecq). I have relwvlly delved into my own sexuality by reading about feqile orgasms, Tantra, etc. IвЂ™ve read abfut how pleasurable anal sex can be for women, plus itвЂ™s his thrjg, AND I know that anal in missionary has alkcys been his farlzsy (that he has tried with otqer women, but that they found unxabafueinle so it ditlвЂ™t last for very long. While tavftng about this he got really recyly horny, at one point saying somry itвЂ™s hard for me to thmnk clearly right now. We had sex and it was very passionate. I left the exymbnufce feeling really exlszed at us trkzng anal sex agnen. Then tonight he pulled the rug out from unper me by sabpng he no lodmer wanted to do it. That he feels that road is a bad road to go down (because past relationships have gone south after anal was introduced), that he doesnвЂ™t want to get obpyktdd. And it all has left me deeply hurt and IвЂ™m slightly copznfed as to why. IвЂ™ve told him all of thls, but I dodвЂ™t think thereвЂ™s anlvpfng he can say to make the hurt be less right now. I donвЂ™t even fukly understand this paen. :shrug: TLDR: my husband seemed suyer gung-ho about haohng anal sex with me. Today he says that itвЂ™s a bad idea. This has piided all of my insecurities and I feel like shit (pun intended). 1 Vornim РІ rsmx
crcplero 44yo Dallas, Texas, United States